Dear Barrett

Dear Barrett,

I've been sporadically writing pregnancy updates for this blog so that I can help myself retain the many memories from my first pregnancy and our time together with you in my tummy. But I wanted to write a letter specifically to you to tell you what I've loved most about carrying you with me for the first few months of your existence and what I'll miss about this crazy experience.

I love the way you squirm around at night. As you've grown bigger, I've felt you more and more throughout the day. But there is something about the evening and right before bed that gets you so excited about punching, kicking, hiccupping, and rolling around. I hope this doesn't mean you'll want to stay up all night, every night after you're born. :) When I lay on my side, I can feel your whole body twist and turn and it makes me believe that I'm already learning about your personality. Maybe you'll be a cross country runner like your daddy or maybe you'll always be on the move like your momma. Feeling your little body inside my stomach like this makes my heart leap and it's my prayer that someday you'll dedicate every move you make to seeking and doing God's will.

I love how now when I'm alone, I'm never really alone. You dad works out of town sometimes and he can be gone for many days at a time. It gets a little lonely without him, but with you, I'm not alone. We can sing songs in the car (and you kick along!) and I can tell you all about my day. That may sound silly, but I love that you can hear my voice and that it's becoming recognizable to you. This aspect of our relationship also draws me closer to God because it reminds me that no matter where I am, I'm never alone because God is always with me too.

Thanks for already being such a loving little boy. When I get angry or I cry, you start to squirm. I'm sure this is mostly because my heart rate goes up and you can feel it, but feeling you move when I'm upset calms me down and reminds me of how blessed I am to have you. Because of you, I let go of frustrations a little quicker and remind myself that I want to be the best example of how to handle oneself in tough situations for you.

You've been good for my pocket book! :) I used to be the kind of person who bought what I wanted when I wanted because, why not? I've always been good at budgeting and being aware of money, but with you, I've become a bargain shopper. I'm always keeping an eye out for diaper coupons and saying no to things I don't truly need. You've already taken precedence over my wants and this makes me happy. What a gift it's going to be to love someone so much that I sacrifice what I want for what you want. I've experienced this with your dad to a certain extent, but it's different with you. I already want to give you the world.

I already worry like crazy about you. What if I wake up and I've been sleeping on my back too long? What if the little bit of caffeine I'm allowed is hurting you? What if I ate too much sugar today? What if I forget to take my pre-natal vitamins one day? What if this or that happens during delivery? I know this worrying will never stop. Someday, I'll be worrying that a kid at school said something mean to you and hurt your feelings or you'll drive off in a car for the first time and I'll worry about crazy drivers on the road. As a momma, this worrying will never end. But you're teaching me to put even more faith in our God who will always be able to take better care of you than I can. Knowing He's holding you in His hands gives me peace, but boy don't you ever doubt - you're always on your momma's mind.

I'm already praying for your future spouse. I'm praying for a little girl I may or may not know. She might not be born yet, or maybe she isn't even a thought in her mom and dad's minds. Maybe she's 3 or 4 and running around enjoying her toddler years. But either way, I pray for her heart and her mind. I pray that she would be a women who seeks after God and loves Him first and foremost. I pray for her parents, that they would be Godly examples to her, both in life and in marriage. When I hear the song, "God Made Girls," by ReaLynn, I tear up a little. God is creating or will create a girl who will someday become your wife. And for her you will open doors, get dressed up, learn to dance, and show a vulnerable side that you don't share with others. She'll make you want to be a better man and add value to your life in a way that only she can. And I already love her so much for this. I can't wait to meet her and tell her that I've been praying for her her whole life.

I love how you've already turned your dad into the best dad ever. He was so scared when he first found out we'd made you. I've always known he'd make a great dad, but he didn't. He's still worried he won't know what to do or be good enough. But I have no doubt he will be the best dad to you. Your pack-n-play and duo swing/bouncer have already been put together because your dad just can't help himself. He keeps saying how ready he is to hold you and watch Scooby Doo together (his childhood favorite). He wants to teach you to shoot your first gun and how to be super clean/organized like him (and mom appreciate this!). And he even fell asleep in your nursery the other day while laying on one of your blankets. He may not think so, but your momma knows he's ready.

And I'm already sad that there will come a point in time (and sooner than later) that you won't be in my tummy anymore. Right now, I breath for you and my immune system fights for you. In a few short weeks, you will make your appearance and you will immediately become 10x more self sufficient than you are now. And yes, you will still need me for so much, but every day as you grow you'll need me less and less. I'm going to miss feeling you squirm around inside my belly and someday when you're at your first swim meet (because dad and I are convinced you'll be a swimmer like him with those big feet we saw at your 3D sonogram!), I'm going to tear up watching you flip turn in the pool as I remember what it was like when you first started practicing those flip turns in my stomach.

Barrett, you have already changed my life in so many ways and I haven't even held you in my arms yet. We have a loooong way to go, you and me. We both have so much to teach each other. But do me a favor, ok? Remember that this is my first time to be a momma and I'll remember it's your first time to be a baby. We'll get through this together, I know it. We've already been through so much and if you ask me, we're rockin' it out. :)

9 more weeks (or less) to go, little Bear. I can't wait to meet you.

Mom

Baby H: Weeks 21-24

Pregnancy became a whole new level of fun during weeks 21-24. :) I realized I was settling into that "honeymoon stage" of pregnancy everyone talks about. I was feeling great, finally looking pregnant (and not just like I'd eaten a second cheeseburger for lunch), and the overall concept of growing our child was becoming more real to me as his movement increased.

Week 21 brought with it Baylor Homecoming. Luke wanted so badly to go with me, but he was in a wedding that weekend. I was torn because I wanted to attend the wedding with him, but I just couldn't give up my last Baylor Homecoming without kiddos. I really wanted that sweet time with my college friends. There is just nothing like going back to Waco for homecoming!

{Bonfire}

{So glad I got to see my little sister and fellow Baylor alum, Claire, at homecoming!}

{At the homecoming parade}

{Homecoming game}

{Barrett got a couple of goodies at homecoming this year. I can't wait to see my little bear in his Baylor baby gear!}

I walked a TON that weekend - all over campus, to the football game, etc. - and on Saturday night I was shocked to see slightly swollen ankles for the first time. I'm not going to lie, I was freaked out, ha! But my ankles returned to normal the next day, so I wasn't too concerned.

During week 22, Luke started a new job. He's still in a similar role, just with a new company. This new job couldn't have come at a more perfect time. He's really liking the people he works with, his travel schedule, etc. God's timing is always perfect y'all!

We also were blessed to attend the wedding of my cousin Bryan, and his wife, Haley. Bryan is the cousin I'm closest in age to, so he's been more of the brother I never had than a cousin. He and Haley love the Lord deeply and this was evident in their lovely Brenham wedding. Plus, it was so nice to spend some time with my dad's side of the family at this wedding since it'd been a while since we'd last seen them.

{At B&H's wedding}

{Love these sillies}

I had a nice, quick visit with my doctor at 22 weeks and she said everything was looking great! At the end of 22 weeks, I had gained approximately 8 pounds with this pregnancy. I'm not being super strict on weight gain; Barrett and my body are telling me what I need. But I definitely like keeping track because a health pregnancy is very important to me (and baby!). So far, so good!

Week 23 was a busy one! On the actual day I turned 23 weeks, Barrett decided to give his momma a gift and kicked me about 6 times so hard that I could actually see and feel the kicks on the outside of my stomach! I didn't think it would overwhelm me so much, but my heart was so full that afternoon. Luke was out of town for work that day, so I tried to take a video of it, but our stubborn little boy wasn't having it. I told Luke that he just wanted to share his first big kicks with mom. :) But towards the end of the week once Luke returned home, Barrett did eventually give dad a couple of good punches to the hand.

That weekend, we bought baby furniture and bedding for Barrett's room. We found a really great deal at Baby's 1st Furniture on a crib, dresser, and bookshelf set. It was recently delivered to the store's warehouse and we picked it up this past weekend. Pictures to come! This is the nursery bedding we went with. I've recently fallen in love with Pottery Barn Kids. I love their quality of bedding and their colors/styles aren't too loud and crazy (there is some interesting baby bedding out there!). And as much as I fought and still fight against having a true "theme" for Barrett's room, I do love the animals on this bedding. Luke and I both love our dogs like they are our children and Luke was a big animal lover as a child (and still is). We have no doubt that Barrett is going to love all animals like his dad and will love learning animal words and sounds.

Week 23 wrapped up with a trip to the Nutcracker Market with my mom and our first fire in the fireplace of our new house. It was a busy week, for sure!

{Christmas-ness at the Nutcracker Market}

{I bought the sign on the left for Barrett's room at the Nutcracker Market for like $15! It was my best find, by far}

{First fire in the new house}

Week 24 slowed down a bit and I was grateful for this. I'd been working on my company's 2015 customer conference and this was consuming my mind at work. Leaves were falling all over the place and I busted out the Christmas decorations just a little ahead of Thanksgiving (I can't ever wait 100% until after Thanksgiving!). From a pregnancy perspective, I had a big boost of energy that week. I think I worked out at 3-4 times and felt great!

{Puppies in leaves are the cutest}

{Walking the bump around our fall neighborhood}

Baby H: Weeks 17-20

I'm almost caught up! I'm determined to push through and get these last few updates written so that I can start blogging on a regular basis in real-time. I think I can, I think I can!

Week 17 was a big one for Luke and me because it was the week we found out the gender of our baby! Being a first-time mom, I actually didn't know that gender is normally determined during the anatomy sonogram somewhere between weeks 18 and 22. I just assumed that at my 17-week appointment, our baby should be developed enough for the doctor to tell me if it was a girl or boy. So when we got there with our long list of questions in hand (remember last time, when I wasn't prepared with questions? That wasn't happening again!), I asked if we could find out the gender. My doctor explained that I'd need to go to the actual hospital for my anatomy sonogram and I was SUPER bummed. I explained to her that Luke was about to have to leave town for work for a little while and that there was a good chance he'd miss this. So my doctor, being as awesome as she is, said that if we could wait for her to see her last two patients of the day, she'd come back with her sonogram machine and see if she could determine the gender. Of course we said yes! About an hour later, we had confirmation that I was 17 weeks pregnant with a sweet baby BOY!!! I've never seen Luke look more proud of anything in his entire life. He walked out of the doctor's office with the cheesiest grin and was holding up the sonogram pics for all to see, ha! We've felt like from day 1, our baby was going to be a boy, but it was a really cool feeling finally knowing that he was truly a he and that we could call him by name.

{Right before we found out that our baby is a boy!} 

Pregnancy side notes (more for me so that I remember): Week 17 was when I really started to feel our baby boy move. Yes, I'd felt movement prior, but these were definitive turns/kicks/punches. Also, week 17 was when I noticed my belly button looked different. Our boy was finally getting to the size where momma's organs were being shifted around and my belly button was starting to get pushed out a little (no outie yet, but it could happen!). And at my 17 week appointment, I still hadn't gained but a pound or two. My doctor actually asked me, "Are you eating? Feeling ok?" and Luke blurted out, "Umm, yeah she is!" Rude Lukey! Haha! This had me a little worried, but I totally shouldn't have been. Be careful what you wish for, because little did I know, that weight gain was coming. ;)

That weekend, we drove to Hallettsville for a quick gender reveal party with my family, who could not wait any longer to find out if Baby Hinton was a boy or girl. Since Luke and I already knew the gender, we wore white, but we asked everyone to wear either pink or blue based on what their guess was. Becca's boyfriend, Braden, did a great job of BBQing and my mom did a wonderful job of decorating for the party. After dinner, we passed out cupcakes with white icing and yellow baby shoes on them. On the count of three, everyone bit into their cupcakes, which revealed blue icing on the inside for our baby boy, Luke Barrett Hinton!

{Poor sisters, they were really pulling for a girl, ha!}

{Social media announcement}
 

Week 18 was fairly chill; not much to report here. I went for a couple of runs, but I remember that around this time my workouts started to slow down a little bit. I'd been running since before I was pregnant, so it wasn't hard to continue throughout the first trimester and into the second. But it was around weeks 18/19 that I really started to feel the baby as I ran (or rather, my bladder did). So I switched from mostly running to a little running, walking, and elliptical at the gym. We also bought Luke a new lawnmower and weed eater this week so that he could get to work on our new yard. Haveto make sure that those new dads are still feeling the love. ;)

{New toys for dad} 

{18 weeks}

Week 19 was the week I scheduled our anatomy sonogram. We were very blessed that Luke got to be there for this sonogram after all. I really didn't know what to expect here, but this experience was so much more than I'd even imagined! Our sonogram tech was so smart and kind. She answered all of my questions and was so patient with us (I had to pee twice during the appointment - I mean, come on - they made me drink 24-30 oz. of water before hand!). We got to see all of Barrett's body parts, including all four chambers of his heart and the way his brain was coming together. It's amazing how far medicine has come. By the end of his photoshoot, he was covering up his face with his hands (no more pics mom!), but we did get a good profile pic of him right at the end. If you ask me, he has daddy's nose. :)

{Our (almost) family of three}

{Luke Barrett Hinton...we're in love!}

That weekend, an overwhelming desire to be super productive came over me. You see, when Luke and I bought this house, we had enough furniture to fill an apartment (a.k.a. not enough to fill a house). I have to constantly remind myself that filling and decorating a house takes time and love. This isn't going to happen overnight, nor do I want it to. I really want to buy furniture and decor that I love and want to have for a while. But for some reason, that weekend (and my preggo hormones) brought a strong desire to get the ball rolling. 

So, I decided to wake Luke up early on Saturday and make him go to Buy Buy Baby to begin a registry with me. Y'all, I can't even begin to start typing this paragraph without laughing. This trip was a MESS! I guess there are couples out there that can do this type of thing together, but Luke and I are not one of those couples. Luke had no desire to compare baby bottles and bassinets, but my emotional, pregnant self had this glorified idea of this perfect day of baby registering with my cute husband. Let's just say our trip to Buy Buy Baby ended with me overwhelmed and crying in the baby furniture section on the phone with my mother (goodness gracious!). My poor, sweet husband. I'm still apologizing for that trip!

Sunday was better. We made a quick trip to Lowe's to buy paint for Barrett's room and Luke got to work painting over the pink that was there from the previous owners. We decided on a shade of navy (Luke's choice) and it turned out SO good! A light tan/taupe color was already on the top half of the walls and we decided to leave it. I'm really loving the two-tone look here. 

{Bye pink!}

 

{Barrett's room}

 

20 weeks sort of snuck up on me! It was so weird to think that we were half way through this pregnancy already. It was around this time that I started noticing a difference on the scale. And in conjunction with this, I got a terrible back ache/spasm for about 3-4 days. I thought it was sciatic nerve pain, but it was in the upper left part of my back by my shoulder blade, so I'm not sure what the reason for this pain was. One morning, I actually had to have Luke lift me out of bed because I couldn't lift myself. It was the craziest thing!

That weekend, my mom drove up to Houston to help me with round 2 of baby registering (no husbands allowed!). There were no tears this go-around and I felt pretty good about the start of Barrett's registries. P.S. Umm, why are there so many options/brands/colors of baby stuff?? I'd seriously be happy with one or two options of everything, not 25-30!! I also bought a Snoogle that weekend. If you're pregnant and you haven't bought a pregnancy pillow, listen to all of the pregnant mommas out there and GO BUY ONE! I've slept with mine every night since I bought it and these pillows are seriously life changing!

{Jolly is the best! And it's her birthday today. Happy birthday mom!!}

Baby H: Weeks 13-16

As I'm starting to write this blog post, I'm kicking myself thinking, "This is why you should have stayed on top of blogging!" I'm looking through Facebook and Instagram, trying to spark memories of what all went down weeks 13-16, ha! Poor kid, momma is already failing at keeping up with your life. Maybe this is that "pregnancy brain" thing that people are always talking about. ;)

So, here are the highlights:

Weeks 13-16 were great! The second trimester sort of came out of nowhere. I remember counting the weeks and looking at online pregnancy websites to confirm I'd actually made it. I felt great! The morning sickness portion of my pregnancy was over and, although most people still thought I'd just eaten one too many cheeseburgers for lunch, I was starting to feel pregnant. It would still be some time before I felt recognizable kicks, but I definitely could feel life/movement and it was a pretty incredible thing.

I had my second doctor visit during week 13. Luke got to go to this one and since he didn't get to see our baby on the sonogram when my pregnancy was confirmed (week 9), my doctor was so sweet to do another sonogram for us so that Luke could see our little peanut in action! I also felt sort of dumb at this appointment because my doctor asked me if I had any questions for her and honestly, I hadn't thought about it, so my answer was no. After the fact, I felt so dumb. Of course I had questions! I just wasn't prepared. That set me on track to have plenty of quality questions for my 17-week appointment. I wasn't going to miss an opportunity to ask questions again!

During week 14, we closed on our house!! It was the best feeling to know that this whole ordeal was finally over and maybe I'm being sarcastic, but if we don't move for another 20 years, I'm cool with that. The only downside was that we still had another two weeks before we could move in because the sellers were renting back from us while moving their family to El Paso. But we did the best we could to get ready for the move and then waited impatiently to get our little family up to the northeast part of Houston.

{Officially official homeowners}

During this two week moving wait, I was blessed with the opportunity to help host a shower for my cousin's fiancee, Haley. These lovebirds had a country, shabby chic wedding this weekend in Brenham, so that was the theme we went with for her shower. It was so nice getting to see and catch up with so many of the women from my dad's side of the family that drove up for the shower. Mom and I were in charge of decor, shower games, and cake. Mom rocked the decor and flowers like a champ! I got Haley's shower cake from Memorial Bakery and it turned out SO good! It was marble cake with a butter cream frosting in the middle and butter cream icing. Yum!! Shower games went great and we all had a really nice time catching up.

{At Haley's shower}

{Awesome cake!}

This must have been the month of wedding showers, because the following weekend, Luke and I drove down to Corpus Christi for a couples shower for one of his best friends, Jake, and his fiancee, Holly. They had a really cute nautical theme for this shower and Holly's family cooked a fabulous meal. I'm really glad Luke and I got to make their shower because a few weeks down the road at their wedding, Luke would be a groomsman, while I'd be in Waco for Baylor homecoming. I'm thankful I got to celebrate this sweet couple when I did.

{Jake and Holly at their couple's shower}

By week 16, we were moving into our home (praise Jesus!). Luke drove down to Hallettsville the night before the move (this is where all of our big stuff was in storage) and loaded up the trailer. That Thursday morning, September 25th, I met mom at the house where the cleaning crew was already working on getting the house ready for Luke's arrival. Mom and I made a quick trip to Wal-Mart for a few extra cleaning supplies and then we ran to HomeGoods to look for a few items that were on my to-buy-for-the-new-house-immediately list, like new bath towels, bathroom mats, etc.

Once Luke arrived and the cleaning ladies had left, the real work began. We unloaded everything into the garage so that from there, we could clean/dust everything before it got moved into the clean house. Also throughout the day, our cable was set up and both our new mattress and washer/dryer set were delivered. It was like Christmas in September and I loved every minute of it! Mostly, it just felt so good to have a home base again. A place that when we said, "I'm coming home," to each other, home really meant home. This was something that Luke and I had been praying about for over a year now and in God's perfect timing, it was happening.

{New washer and dryer from mom and dad = early Christmas present!}

{New yard tools for a man with his very own yard]

As for my actual pregnancy and the baby? Well, here's a little look at the ol' bump during weeks 13-16. :) I still hadn't gained any weight at this point, but I will say that I noticed a new level of exhaustion during these months. It wasn't the same as in the first trimester when I slept all of the time though. It more like every day was enough. After waking up early, working a full day, coming home, and making/eating dinner, I was done. I noticed a decrease in my workouts about this time too (up until this point, I was running/walking/using the elliptical 3-4 times/week) and honestly, I regret not pushing through this. But since day 1 of my pregnancy, I've really wanted to listen to my body. So I was confident there was a reason for the rest I was getting. I was also really enjoying no more nausea and food starting to smell normal again! During these weeks, I craved meat, cheese, and eggs. This is Luke's kid to the extreme!

{Left to right: Working out at the gym at my office around 13 weeks, 14 weeks at work, and a comparison of 4.5 weeks to 15.5 weeks}