31 August 2008

Here We Go Again

Its about that time again. Summer is officially over. I'm back in Waco and I've been in school for one week now. This can only mean one thing: Luke and I are in a long distance relationship once again.

For those of you who don't know us, my boyfriend, Luke, and I have been dating for three years. And for three out of those three years, its been a long distance relationship. EXCEPT for during the summer, when Luke and I have the blessing of being able to work and serve at Camp Zephyr. I LIVE for these three months, the time when I'm able to see him everyday. And now, in what felt like the blink of an eye, thay are over once again. I think this realization just hit me.

It had been about two and a half weeks since I had left camp to go back to school and all of a sudden, it was Labor Day weekend! So, of course, I jumped at the opportunity to go back down to the good old South Texas. Family, Luke, camp, friends...what more could a girl ask for? So, for the past two days I've been working at Camp Zephyr (it is Retreat Season there) and now I'm back home with the family until tomorrow morning, when they will move my sister, Emily, into her new apartment in Houston and I will go back to Waco to get ready for the second week of school in my junior year of college. I really didn't think I would cry this time, leaving Luke and all. Normally, I cry like the rain falls after a ten year drought. Its rough, just ask the boy. How he holds it together is beyond me; I know it hurts him to see me cry like that. But anyway, I really thought I'd be good. I mean, I was able to see him for a couple of days and we'll be back together again in two weeks for another shot gun weekend. So what's the big deal you ask? Ughh..

If you have never been in a long distance relationship, you wouldn't understand. And if you haven't stuck out a long distance relationship, then you still wouldn't understand. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life. I love this man, mind you. We plan on marrying in the somewhat near future (after we graduate!). And after spending three straight months with him, something my heart longs for year-round, all I want to do is be with him. Now, I'm not the kind of girl that needs to be with a guy 24/7, but our hearts grow closer than ever when we are able to spend so much continuous time together; that is not something I am able to have all of the time. And when I am torn from this, I am broken. So, prettty much, this weekend was nothing but a tease. Suckfest.

Will we be fine? Yes, of course. Do I know that this has to be in God's plan? Yes, of course. But does that make this any easier? Honestly? No, not really. I love Luke. I love him so much. And everyday that I don't get to spend with Him is a day of his life I miss out on. I do have to look on the bright side though. I am SO blessed to be loved by this man. A man of God that is willing to wait for me, no matter how hard it is and no matter how long it takes, as I finish school at Baylor and as he finishes school at A&M-Corpus Christi. Really, I have the best of both worlds. I'm able to focus on school, live with my sorority sisters, make young adults decisions, learn from my mistakes, and so much more as a young and independent woman on my own. At yet, I have the most amazing boyfriend who loves and supports me and is waiting for me at the end of this college road. Still...does this make saying goodbye to him any easier? No. Do I still miss him like crazy? Yes. And do I dream of the day when we can be together forever? Yes, all the time:)

Luke, I love you so much. And yes, I am going to post this sappy blog about you at almost 1 o'clock in the morning because I'm tired and can't stop thinking about you. But I love you and I thank God for you every day of my life. Thanks for being my best friend and boyfriend. I can't wait for the day when I don't have to leave and when you won't have to watch me drive away anymore. I love being in the circle with you and I love that no on else can come in:) I love that you call me turkey bird and I promise to come up with a cool name for you at some point! Thanks for being such a great example of patience and love. Thanks for opening my eyes to new ways of doing things and challenging me daily. It will never be dull, that's for sure! I love you with all my heart and I can't wait to see you in two-ish weeks!

Always in all ways,

Goodnight people!