I'm Back! + 6 Month Recap

Hello blogosphere! It's been 6 whole months since I last posted to this dusty ol' blog - wowzer. Some days I can't believe I've stayed away this long and then other days, I can. So much life has happened in the last six months and really, that's been my biggest reason for staying away. Instead of writing about all that's been going on in our lives, we've been working through it. But don't hear me wrong - we're good! Ultimately, the last six months has been a time of God growing Luke and me. In our relationships with Him, in our marriage, and in our faith. It's good stuff, y'all. 

Let's start back in March, shall we?

March/April. March was great. I turned 27 on the 26th and I was nearing the end of my second tax season working in marketing for a tax prep company. Early April brought a new job for Luke - which was a huge blessing in disguise - because about a week after the tax season ended, my company was restructured and our entire team was cut (plus many others). I can't say that I didn't expect this at all. Hindsight is always 20/20 and looking back, the writing was on the wall. But the best part was that I had complete peace about it. I was confident in God's greater plan and immediately jumped into job hunting.

May. In May, my family took a week-long beach vacation to Port Aransas and the timing couldn't have been better. I was still job hunting and could relax 100% on vacation knowing that work wasn't going to be calling me. At the end of the week, Becca and I ran in the 2014 Beach To Bay Relay Marathon in Corpus Christi. We ran each others' legs too, so we put in right at 9 miles each. It was a great way to end our vacation!

 {Our little family}

{Becca and I after Beach To Bay}

At the same time, Luke and I had found a house in Corpus Christi that we wanted to rent and put a deposit down. I was a few rounds into a job interview that I was confident would end in a job offer and Luke's new job was going well. We got approved for the house, packed up a trailer full of furniture and boxes we'd had in storage in Hallettsville (where my parents live), pulled out of the driveway to head towards Corpus Christi with our things, looked at each other, and both said..."No." It hit us immediately. This wasn't the plan; it didn't feel right. God wasn't calling us to Corpus. I called and backed out of the interview process and we lost our $800 deposit on the house (ouch). But it was the right decision. And in the next few days, we drove to Houston to visit my friend, Sarah, who had just had a baby, and it was on that trip we felt God moving us to Houston. 

June. In less than a month, I had a job offer in Houston, TX. When God speaks, He speaks! We were and are still very blessed that Luke's job has him traveling around (mostly) South Texas, so his home base can be anywhere he is accessible to work. On June 19th, I started my new job as the business development manager for a software company in Houston that works mainly with the major players in the refining/chemical space. It was a career move I never expected to make, but I can't even begin to tell you guys what a blessing this job has been for me and Luke. The work culture, my colleagues, the way every day on the job looks a little different...God hand-picked this job for me and I'm humbled every day that this is the direction He's taking my career!

July. Now, here's the fun part. On July 3rd, Luke and I found out that not only were we in a new city with new jobs, but a new creation was also being formed in my belly. I was just over 4 weeks pregnant! Shocked is probably the best way to describe our reactions. We knew that a baby was in the nearer future, but we weren't expecting for this to happen quite as soon as it did. It took a couple of wide-eyed weeks, but we eventually settled into the idea of becoming parents. And where were we living, you ask? Ahhh, yes. The answer would be with my aunt and uncle temporarily while house hunting. Again, signs that this little peanut wasn't 100% planned, ha! Our casual house hunting turned into house hunting in OVERDRIVE. New city, new jobs, new baby...let's just add a new house on top of it!

{Photo by Journey Tree Studio}

August. You know how when people buy new houses, they post these super cute pictures to social media of themselves signing papers or standing in front of said house? It always looks soooo easy. Umm, NO! That wasn't the case for us at all. I'll spare you the details, but after having a contract on one house, backing out, competing for a second house, being outbid by other buyers, and then being asked if we still wanted the second house because the other buyers backed out, I literally had a panic attack. Seriously. Hysterically crying, driving down Beltway 8, approximately 9 weeks pregnant or so. Can anyone say hormones?? Beyond that, we had loan changes, special conditions, etc. that about put this first-time preggo chick over the edge. We closed on our house on September 9th and to say it was a glorious day would be the understatement of the century. Can't believe we survived!

{Casa de Hinton}

And now it's September. I'm just over 15 weeks pregnant and we're homeowners. Moving commences next Thursday and we couldn't be more excited! After all that's been going on these last few months, I couldn't help but start to feel like I was missing the chance to document this next chapter of our lives: baby, living in the burbs, and being grown-ups (is that what we are??). So, I'm back! I can't wait to give you guys more detailed updates on this little barnacle that's attached himself/herself to my stomach and to keep you posted on moving/house decorating! 

{Forgive my weird face; it's serious business taking selfies of baby bumps}

The last six months have had their share of ups and downs, but Luke and I cling to the fact that our God is the same, yesterday, today, and forever. For every disappointment we've felt, there has been a greater, ever better solution that we didn't see coming. God has opened all of the right doors and closed the wrong ones. It hasn't always been easy, but we've felt His peace. This is the song that was playing on KSBJ as we were driving home from closing on the house and I was rubbing my tummy. We are overwhelmed, grateful, and blessed.

Freefall to Fly...a story I want to share with all the women in my life.

A couple months back, a lady by the name of Rebekah Lyons visited our church here in New Jersey. I had no idea what to expect from her visit, but I'm convinced after hearing her speak and reading her book that God knew I needed to hear her story. Below is Amazon's description of Rebekah's new book, "Freefall to Fly: A Breathtaking Journey Toward a Life of Meaning."

"Women today are fading. In a female culture built on Photoshopped perfection and Pinterest fantasies, we’ve lost the ability to dream our own big dreams. So busy trying to do it all and have it all, we’ve missed the life we were really designed for. And we are paying the price. The rise of loneliness, depression, and anxiety among the female population in Western cultures is at an all-time high. Overall, women are two and a half times more likely to take antidepressants than men. What is it about our culture, the expectations, and our way of life that is breaking women down in unprecedented ways?

In this vulnerable memoir of transformation, Rebekah Lyons shares her journey from Atlanta, Georgia, to the heart of Manhattan, where she found herself blindsided by crippling depression and anxiety. Overwhelmed by the pressure to be domestically efficient, professionally astute, and physically attractive, Rebekah finally realized that freedom can come only by facing our greatest fears and fully surrendering to God’s call on our lives. This book is an invitation for all women to take that first step toward freedom. For it is only when we free-fall that we can truly fly."

I just finished reading Rebekah's book last night. And I wish I would have read it sooner. Our stories are so similar in some parts, it's scary. I've struggled with anxiety throughout my life, but about 5 months ago I experienced my first full-blown anxiety attack, heart palpitations and trouble breathing included. Like Rebekah, I have a family history that includes anxiety struggles and depression and I recently moved from the south to the northeast, which was not as easy of a move as I thought it would. And to be completely honest with you, I've questioned God over and over, similar to this author, asking, "Why can't this just go away?? Where are you in all of this, God? Just show me what you want! Please give me peace."

Through her struggles, Rebabkah has realized that she has a story to share with women across the world because so many women do struggle with finding meaning in life, discovering what their passions are and then cultivating them instead of giving them up, fighting anxiety/depression/etc, and living in a "perfect" Facebook/Pinterest world. 

If any of this resonates with you, please read Freefall to Fly. I promise you, it will be the best $10-$15 you spend today. Don't have the money? Email me. I'll send you my copy. :)

Blessed

I'm feeling particularly blessed today. Mine and Luke's move to Jersey has not always been easy. We've missed our friends and family in Texas and continue to miss them. There were definitely some growing pains that came with our new work schedules, new life routines, finding a church, and making new friends. And we still feel these pains from time to time. 

But today, I was reminded how grateful Luke and I are for...

• The church family we've found at Liquid Church and for the pastors and friends that have loved on us from this place. 
• The friends that Luke and I have made through the company we work for. A lot of people will tell you to keep your personal and professional lives separate and I agree with that to a certain extent, but Luke and I have built some great friendships with a few of our colleagues here in Jersey and I'm thankful that these friendships can bloom outside of our office walls.
• Our precious dog walker who loves our babies like her own and shows up during puppy emergencies when she doesn't have to (Bentley had a run-in with a fishing hook this weekend). She loves the Lord and this shows in the way she takes care of us. We are SO blessed by her!
• The little things...Our sweet neighbors that stop to say hello and pet our pups as we pass each other walking in and out of our apartment building, friends and family that continue to call and check on us from 1800 miles away, and the way that with each passing day, mine and Luke's relationship grows stronger as we walk this adventure together. 

You won't hear me say this often, but I'm thankful for New Jersey. Looking back, I wouldn't change our decision to move for anything. God knew what He was doing when He opened this door for Luke and I to walk through and so much growth was required from both of us. I've cherished these last 9 months, the good and the bad, and I'm excited for what His perfect plan holds for our future.

Thank you, Lord, for this adventure and Your many, many blessings each and every day.

Oh wait, there's a plan?

I've been thinking a lot lately about God's plan for my life. If you would have asked me 5 years ago where I'd be in 5 years, I never would have guessed in Sandia, Texas. I wouldn't have said working in media sales and advertising. But that's neither here, nor there. I am where I am because the Lord has me here and I love this season of my life for the crazy/beautiful time that it is.

But there is a restlessness about this time too. I think a lot about past choices I've made. If I had taken a different path, would life have still brought me to this place? I know this isn't a fair question to ask oneself. You can't change the past. And as a believer, I put my faith in God, who promises us in His Word that He knows already the plans He has for our lives,

"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future." Jer. 29:11

But I'm a dreamer. An overachiever. And people like me become restless a little too easily. It is difficult for me to be still and wait on God's perfect timing. Believe me, more often than not, this is what mine and God's conversations are about. :) I could have sworn that I'd be the CMO of the largest non-profit in Texas or the VP of PR for the most successful agency in New York by now. Ok, that's a little lofty at 25, but you get what I'm saying. I just worry that I'm not reaching my full potential or that I'm not pushing myself hard enough. Or worse, that I haven't taken chances. I hate when people tell me that they live with regrets. I never want to be that way.

So, this has been my brain the last three days. Restless, moody, anxious.

And prayerful.

In other news, I bought a new camera bag and a new UV lens for my Nikon today. As much as I love my iPhone and Instagram, it's a bit ridiculous that I've had a DSLR for two and a half years and I've hardly used it. When you have such a great tool at your disposal (especially as a blogger!), you must use it. So, my Nikon is officially glued to my hip. I'm watching YouTube videos and figuring out the tricks to becoming a better photographer. Watch out; there may or may not be some pretty cool pictures popping up (let's hope yes!). 

If God is the one ultimately in charge of my life, the least I can do is bring a good camera along for the ride. :)

Sometimes, all you have to do is sit on the front porch

 {This is what peace looks like for me this morning}

Do you ever feel like the world is spinning madly around you and that you can't slow your brain down long enough to have one complete thought? This has been me over the last week or so. It is also the reason for my lack of posts. With the craziness of life that I have been encountering recently, I have found it extremely difficult to blog about anything because I haven't fully processed my thoughts. Before I can complete one, a new one is being created. This has been extremely tiring, if you can imagine.

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you." 

Isaiah 54:10

At this very moment, I am sitting on the front porch of the Camp Zephyr office and it is a perfect 66 degrees with a light breeze. No words can describe the peace that comes with sitting on this front porch. It is a familiar place to me; a place I've sat and read my Bible, blogged, and had both serious and hysterical conversations with friends and family. Although the world spins madly on, here I find rest. I think this is what I'll love most about living out at camp. I yearn for those mornings of quiet time with my God on the deck in my backyard, Bible and coffee in hand. And from what those who have lived in our house before us have told me, the view of God's majestic, starry sky from our backyard is going to be breath-taking. I know I'll never get enough of this.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

James 1:7

I woke up at 5:30 a.m. on my own this morning with tears in my eyes. This never happens to me and sort of freaked me out. I don't think I was having a bad dream, but in all honesty, I can't remember. Maybe it's because I have to say goodbye to not only two of my dear friends today (who are moving to East Texas), but two people who have helped mold me into the woman and leader I am today. This couple has been a huge part of my time at Zephyr and I'm really having a tough time accepting that they won't be here as Luke and I move in. It could also be because I haven't slept well the past week or because of the pressure I'm putting on myself to pack/move/figure out our car situation/etc. in just a few short weeks. I don't know why I woke up with tears, but I'm telling you if you ever wake up this way, drive or fly to Zephyr and spend a quiet morning on this porch with me. It will do your soul good.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30 

 

Your prayers would be appreciated.  :)

Feeling blessed, giving back, and living with compassion

I've been feeling very inspired and blessed lately. After what couldn't have been a better 24th birthday and looking through pictures of my first bridal shower, I am reminded of how wonderful life truly is. I'm not living in Japan with the threat of radiation poison looming over me, I'm not an orphan without family, I'm not physically sick or hurt in any way. I'll be the first to admit that I can let the little speed bumps in life get to me and forget how lucky (this is the only other word I can think of besides blessed!) I really am. This makes me think of Francesca Battistelli's newest song, This Is The Stuff, where she sings, "In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed." I am so grateful for the countless ways God shows His love, even when I lose focus!

A couple of weeks ago, my director at work sent me the link to a speech called, "This Is Water," by David Foster Wallace, which was given at the 2005 commencement ceremony Kenyon College. It is a wonderful 20ish minute speech about living a conscious, compassionate life, both as an educated person and as a Christian. If you haven't heard this speech, please, please let me encourage you to listen to it! I'll post the links below. It is absolutely motivating and is the best commencement speech I've ever listened to. One line in particular really stood out to me and challenged me in my daily life, in the way I work with clients, in the way I communicate with friends and family, etc. Wallace said,

The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline and being able to truly care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad, petty little unsexy ways every day. That is real freedom. That is being educated and understanding how to think.

You have to listen to the entire speech to fully understand this statement in its context, but for some reason this quote hit me like a ton of bricks. Freedom isn't money, fine clothes, or prestige. It's about being aware of those around you and striving to make a difference in their lives. As previously stated, I've been feeling incredibly blessed. But what does any of this matter if I'm not giving blessings back to others and showing them the love that Christ has so graciously shown me? This is where the inspired part comes in. God's blessings have now inspired me to give back to others in "petty little unsexy ways every day." Just some food for thought.

"This Is Water" links:
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5THXa_H_N8
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSAzbSQqals

And now I'll leave you with this, my favorite passage that I read as a religion minor in college (and I read A LOT!). It is from The Heidelberg Catechism (1563), a document of the Reformed Christian faith. It says,

We learn that we are to be patient in adversity, grateful in the midst of blessing, and to trust our faithful God and Father for the future, assured that no creature shall separate us from His love, since all creatures are so completely in His hand that without His will they cannot even move.

I just love this quote. It doesn't quite go with the rest of the blog post, but I don't care. I love to share it with people any chance I get!

  

How has God blessed you lately? How have you given back? Are you striving to live a conscious, compassionate life on a daily basis? Again, just some food for thought. :)

In the grip of grace,
Sara

Night time thoughts

It's at night, laying in bed, that I believe I do my best, most reflective thinking. I suppose it has something to do with the world slowing down and my ability at that point to take one complete breath after another. And this is where I am right now: laying in bed, just thinking back over my day and over the last few months.

My life the last five months has been nothing like what I expected. I know I write, or at least I feel like I write, about this concept pretty often. But I can't seem to help it. Facing life after Baylor and New York was way tougher than expected. College was more than I could have ever dreamed of, a safe haven where best friends lived and being social trumped all. Oh yeah, and there was school...

But you get what I mean. :)

If you haven't heard, I started a new job on Monday. After being "laid off" back in July, only seven weeks after I began my first full time job out of college, I started to re-evaluate. I began searching for a new job and working two part time jobs. I went to many professional mixers, gave my resume to anyone that would look at it, and tried very hard to meet all the right people. I even applied last minute to grad school and questioned my career choice. Many, many tearful conversations with my mom, friends, and Luke, although they didn't help me find a job (the tears!), got me through the valley. Even though tomorrow is only day three of the new job, I must say that it feels good to wake up with a work purpose. It's been a while since I was this thankful for something. God has taught me much patience, faith in Him, and thankfulness over the last five months. It's times like these that you look back on and say you'd not give up for the world because you grew so much during that low point. I know I'll be able to say this later down the road.

So tonight, as I lay here in my bed blogging on my iPhone instead of sleeping like I should be, I'm sincerely grateful. I am grateful for my new job, my supportive family, friends, and fiancé, my precious little puppy who is ever so sweetly cuddling next to me, my health, this comfy bed I'm laying in, and for my personal relationship with the God who has never left my side. Yes, there are still many kinks in my life to work out. Unfortunately, there probably always will be. But I'm truly happy tonight. And I know tonight's will be sweet sleep.

These are just a few of my night time thoughts. Goodnight.


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