I've been a little grumpy the last few days. The sad thing is, I know exactly why I'm feeling this way and I haven't done much to fix it. So, I guess my grumpiness is partially my fault. I've been told multiple times that no matter the circumstances, joy is a choice. And if I were to be honest with you, I have not been choosing joy. So, here are things that have been bothering me.
First off, its very hard to be away from Luke. I don't mean this in a "i miss my fiance" sort of way, even though I do miss him very much. What I mean is, its hard to have a conversation that lasts longer than a couple of minutes. Its hard to get his true opinion about wedding decisions because we're not looking at the same wedding planner or bridal magazine. The one hour time difference, even though it doesn't sound like a lot, really throws us for a loop. We get off of work at different times, go to bed at different times...you get the picture. This is a tough one.
I've also been grumpy because I'm adapting to life in the city. I love New York, don't get me wrong. But whereas you adapt for short periods of time while on vacation, I'm living life up here and I still have another 3.5 months to go. Whether its traveling by subway, adapting to a new work place and a new boss, or finding good food, I hope the adaption process is over soon and I can more thoroughly enjoy this city.
I hate feeling this way. I hate being bitter because I see so many other couples planning their weddings TOGETHER (on facebook, ha!). I also hate the way some people handle change better than me. But each of these things, I must get over.
I am so blessed. I am marrying my best friend and that day will be the sweetest day of my life. I'm living out my childhood dream in New York City. I have an incredible job and I work for some freakin' amazing people. My family is safe and healthy. I have the best friends in the entire world. Well, when I put that way...
SHUT UP SARA. Geez, I annoy myself sometimes. I'm about to change the mood right now. Its time to be excited about life and where its headed. I'm over being grumpy!
See what blogging can do?? Its so good to get this off my chest:)
21 January 2010
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