13 January 2008

God Through Miranda

The other day I was hanging out with my friend Miranda. I really like Miranda. She's a great girl who is very driven in life, loves to have fun, and has a big heart for the Lord. She's the kind of girl that I feel I can be 100% myself around because she is 100% herself with you, so real. I don't even remember what we were talking about (probably something related to Tri Delt b/c it was during rush and we are sorority sisters), but all of a sudden Miranda said, "I've decided that I'm going to work on not wanting what other people have." I thought that was a huge statement.

I really felt that God had given Miranda just those words to say to me. Sometimes I become so sick of myself because all I do is covet what other people have. God has given me all that I could ever need and more. I am so blessed to be attending Baylor, to be a Tri Delta, to have such a great family and amazing friends, to have such an amazing boyfriend, to have a job where I get to serve the Lord on a daily basis, to be so healthy, and to live such a comfortable life. And yet, I continue to want more and more. A Gucci purse, an SUV, super expensive clothes, Yurman jewelry, a super skinny body, etc. The list goes on and on. Really? I'm so sick of me.

On top of that, I worry so much about what others think of me. I worry about what my Tri Delta sisters think of me. If I'm wearing the right outfits or if I'm saying the right words. It's like I'm trying to be a clone of them. What happened to having your own brain? I worry about what other Christians think about me; if they think I'm "Christian" enough. I'm constantly trying to show people how good of a Christian I am that I'm forgetting about what serving the Lord is all about. I spend so much time trying to prove to everyone that I'm a woman of God that I forget to be. In the end, I find myself feeling like a fool, like I'm letting God down. Really? I'm so sick of me.

Miranda's words really hit me. I have decided that I am going to start making an effort to not want what others have, but want what I already have: A beautiful life that God has blessed tremendously and given to me so mercifully. I'm also going to focus more on making Jesus Christ my Audience of One. The only person that I need to be living for and pleasing is Him. And when others do look at me or judge me, all I want them to see is a daughter of the King who serves Him with her whole heart. I want to be more selfless. I talk about myself alot, when instead I should be sharing Christ's love. That's not who my Savior desires for me to be; it's not who He has created me to be.

So, I'm going to not want what others have, stop trying to live up to others expectations, and try to be less selfish. If you want to call them new year's resolutions, go for it. But I'm going to call them life goals. Thank God for friends like Miranda who do not even know God used them, but allow Him to do so anyway, and bless the lives of people like me. God works in mysterious ways. And for me, in blunt, in your face, kind of ways.


1 comment:

  1. sara..so i just read your last post, and i can say i empathize with the changes you are trying to make....i would like to leave you with some simple encouragement.

    Matthew 7:7-8
    "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

    Keep on truckin sara. hope to hear from you soon.


Let me know your thoughts! I love comments. :)