31 October 2009


I am very much in love with a man that I have waited four years for and I am currently still in the waiting process. The good news is that he has been waiting this long for me as well. Luke and I started dating the summer before I left for college, leaving little time for us to even build a solid friendship. So, over the past four years, we've lived in this limbo of dating, getting to know each other on a deeper level, building a solid foundation of trust, and falling deeper in love. I am so crazy about this guy that lives five hours from me that it hurts. I can physically feel my chest tighten as I type these words. Luke means everything to me and all I want to do is make him happy.

We are, by far, not the perfect couple. We are actually very different. For either one of us to deny this would be lying to ourselves. Luke loves to play Call of Duty and watch scary movies and I'd rather have nothing to do with either. I love to talk for hours on the phone and he sticks it out solely for me. Luke drives a 2006 Kawasaki 636 and I'm scared to death of him driving that motorcycle. I love to be around tons of people because I've never met a stranger in my life and Luke is really uncomfortable around people he doesn't know. And believe me, I could go on and on about our differences:) But as much as I sometimes let our differences scare me into doubt, Luke's love always seems to drive these fears out of me just as quickly as they showed up.

You see, I am one to figure things out. I like to research, see different sides or hear others' opinions. I love school and if there is one thing that school has taught me, it is how to come to an educated conclusion about an issue. Luke, on the other hand, is going to school for me, but does not enjoy it one bit. And the way he sees it is simply this: we'll make it work. He thinks why should we worry so far in advance about the future we have no control over? Let's just trust the Lord and love each other through it. We'll make decisions as they come along and need to be made. I can see my side and I can see his. I'm uptight and he is a free spirit. We're so different, and yet, we make a pretty cool balance when we do finally come to final decision. He relaxes me and reminds me that God is in control. I give his life a little more structure, reminding Him that God gives us divine instruction as well. As long as we're loving each other, compromising, and leaning on the Lord, we're good.

Last night, Luke and I had a disagreement. As of this morning, this disagreement doesn't even seem worth it anymore. All I know is that I love him so much. He is a gift God has given me and the tool God used to change my heart four years ago. Our differences may cause short-term grief at times, but we've made a promise to each other that no matter how mad we get, we always say "I love you" at the end of every telephone call. We do know, however, that at the root of all of our conflicts is the distance. We don't fight when we're together; we love each other through everything. So, we look forward to the day when we've graduated and can begin to really plan our lives together; when distance will no longer be an issue.

All I want to do is be with him and make him happy. I want to make his life better. In addition, and as if this post doesn't sound corny enough already, I can't wait to have dinner ready for him when he comes home. I can't wait to bake for him, walk our dog together, work out together, go to the movies just because, or just sit on our couch together. I hold on to these dreams because they get me through the tough times when I miss him the most. But Luke is totally worth the wait and we're only got 7 months left! I know we can do it. Luke and I can do anything:)

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