I was so incredibly stressed out today! It was just one of those days at work where I felt behind from the get-go and it wasn't until about 4:45 p.m. that I felt like I had kind of caught up. Even now, I know that tomorrow is going to be just as busy. I'm praying that I can keep up with this crazy pace and still give every task 100% of me. I absolutely love my job, but today it won.
Another cause of stress in my life today was my apartment complex. Last Friday, I put down a deposit for a 2B/2B at the same complex that I'm currently living in. Right now I'm in a 1B/1B, my lease is up at the end of March, and my apt complex wants a 60-day notice as to whether or not I'm staying or moving out. Knowing that the next place I move into will be the "home" that Luke moves into once we're married made the decision to stay or leave very difficult. But he and I decided to stay at my apartment complex and just move into a larger unit. I then received an email on Saturday morning that said my apt complex accidentally leased me an apartment last Friday that was actually not available. It was the most perfect apartment and I was so bummed! It has now worked out that (because my apt feels guilty for not being more thorough) I will be moving into an even larger 2B/2B than before, it is costing me $30 less than they were originally asking, this new apt has upgraded floors, and I can more in next week without having to pay out my current lease. Sounds like a great deal, right? Well, it is except for the fact that I'm freaking out!!! Move out of my apartment in a week instead of at the end of March?!?! Does anyone remember I work 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. M-F and have set plans the next two weekends? Why do I do this to myself...
On top of these daily stresses, I'm thinking about how I will need to buy a new car soon. I'd really like to lease one. Where is the down payment going to come from, you ask? Good question. I have no clue. I'd also really need a new mattress. The one I have right now is super old and again, eventually Luke will have an opinion about this as well. This must be why God tells us,
"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."
Blah. These are my stresses of the day. And I hate that most of them have to do with figuring out finances (can I at this point afford a bigger apartment, a new car, a new mattress, etc?) and just organizing my grown-up life. It feels good to get them off of my chest, but it doesn't make them go away. Tonight, I am laying my silly worries and burdens at His feet. As small or simple as these stresses may sound, they weigh on me and I cannot carry them all. As I was driving home from work today, I found myself tearing up to this song. I don't know what it is about this song, but it gets to me every time. Selah's version is my favorite. I love this hymn. It will get me through the next few weeks of decision making and work in general.
P.S. I'm sorry if this blog post doesn't flow or make much sense. I feel like I'm rambling. I guess I'm just tired. Goodnight friends.