11 August 2010

The best laid plans...

I'm a planner. I love to know what's going on. At Camp Zephyr I planned activity rotations and evening events. I'm applying for jobs where much of what I will do includes organizing and planning. Luke goes crazy trying to plan things (he is NOT a planner like me) because he knows I will drive him crazy if there isn't a plan. In a few moments, I will go to Barnes & Noble to buy my new 18-month planner because it's back to school season and new planners are hot off the press. Have I mentioned I like to PLAN??

Sometimes I wonder why God made me this way because He always seems to change my plans. Why give someone this yearning to plan life out the best way possible (in my own eyes) only to completely change in up in Your own time? This is mine and God's relationship; we're a funny duo. I plan and He changes the plans. I get frustrated and he still loves me. I roll my eyes and we laugh about it together. Such is the story of two people who want to plan the same life. Here's a little foreshadowing: HE always wins outs in the end.

If you would have asked me back in January where I would be today, I would have told you married, on my honeymoon, and employed full time. Well guess what, I'm NONE of these, ha! A couple of months ago I would have been embarrassed to admit these things. However, I'm at total peace right now. That is, if you consider a tornado of a life at peace. :) But I think that is how peace really works. We think of peace as calm and relaxing when in fact, you can be at peace while the world spins madly on around you. This is exactly where I am. And it's not where I had planned.

Right now I am working two part time jobs. I'm a freelance consultant for a social media marketing company in Corpus Christi, Neovia Solutions. I am surprisingly excited about this job! I've only met with one client so far, but I have another meeting tomorrow and tons of analysis work to be done. Marketing is the business side of what I love to do and I'm liking it. I'm also a part time office assistant for La De Da...Events, an event decorating company in Corpus Christi. One of the best, I might add! This job is fun because it lets my creative and organizational side come out. While I am still actively pursuing and interviewing for full time jobs, I'm happy with the work God has blessed me with. These jobs not only help me pay the bills, but are growing me professionally and hey--I could have no job, right?

This past weekend was the weekend that Luke and I, back in January, had chosen to be the weekend we'd get married. August 7th has now come and gone and we're not married. But can I tell you something? I'm SO glad this did not happen for many reasons. Financially, we were not ready. I was let go from my first job out of college in July. Luke can easily support himself on what he makes, but with Luke still in college until December, I HAD to be working full time for both of us to be supported. How could I have ever predicted the way that first job was going to work out? I couldn't have; but God knew. Luke and I also had, and still have, many things to talk through before getting married. Yes, we've been together for 5 years, but living in two different cities for 4 or those 5 years leaves many opinions and ideas unspoken of. We're so happy for the time to dig into each other and our relationship; to be a "normal" couple. This past weekend we took Brooklyn to the bayfront, went to eat at our favorite restaurant, Water Street Seafood Co., and hung out at my apartment. I know these sound like such general to-dos for a dating couple, but we're loving just being together. We also watched a ton of "Say Yes To The Dress" and the Military channel. He learned about wedding dresses and I learned about sniper guns. Life would be SO incredibly different had we gotten married on August 7th, but I'm at peace at where we are now. Oh, and we're starting to think (slowly!) about a new wedding date. I'll keep you updated for sure. :)

 {Brooklyn at Agua Java for the first time!}

One thing I love about Luke is that he doesn't care about what other people think about him. He just does his own thing; chases his own dreams. A couple of months ago, I couldn't say this to you. A couple of months ago I did care what everyone else thought: about my wedding being postponed, about having or not having a full time job, and anything else I had planned that had "failed," so to speak. But God has worked on and changed my heart a ton through this entire process. I feel so blessed to be where I am right now because God loved me enough to not let my plans follow through. These were MY plans, not HIS. And His plans are so much greater than I'll ever know. Every once and a while I begin to feel myself starting to care about what others think or I try to step out on my own and make new plans. But I immediately get on my knees and lift my eyes to the hills (Psalm 121:1). I've already learned this lesson. His plans are perfect and I know He's watching over me. It's a peaceful place to be.

Now, I'm going to Barnes & Noble. It's time for that new planner! ;)


  1. You know, you really are a good little blogger. Keep it up, you never know, two recent major motion pictures have been based on blogs/diaries. Maybe that could be your full-time job! Love you!!


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